Swimming with Sharks

I saw a shark. Yes you are reading that correctly. It was a good size one at that…or so I thought based on the fin.

I was out paddle boarding the other day in the Gulf of Mexico having a wonderful and peaceful workout.  A few minutes in, about fifteen or so feet in front of my board I saw the fin of a fish rise up out of the water. It was there and then it was gone. It happened so fast, I thought at first I imagined it. Was that a shark or a dolphin? I was certain it was a shark.

I wasn’t all that far out. I was out far enough to avoid the waves breaking and close enough in to avoid the wakes of the boats. It was the perfect time of day, 9 am, the water was like glass where I was paddling.

My peace was suddenly upended when I saw that fin peak up out of the surface of the water. My knees literally started to shake. I thought to myself if he hits my board I am going in and I really did not want to be his next meal.

I slowly turned my board, taking long, smooth strokes not going too deep in the water, and forced myself to remain calm, praying for the Lord to take care of everything.

I was standing up, turning my board away from the direction where I had seen the fish and towards the shoreline. Once I was clear of the area, I paddled like I had never paddled before, breathing deep long breaths of the sea air to calm my shaken nerves.

Soon enough I was close to the shoreline where people were floating in the water completely unaware of my traumatic experience. Everyone was relaxed and enjoying the morning at the beach.

I thought to myself, why am I so scared? I don’t really even know that it was a shark and if it was, one that would want to bite me. Sharks are always in the water - I normally don’t see them. Seeing that fin scared me and in a moment of panic, a lie was set into motion in my mind.

Here are some of the lies that came out of nowhere ….“There is a shark. Sharks are dangerous. You could be bitten or worse. Be afraid. Paddle boarding is dangerous maybe you shouldn’t do this anymore. You are going to have to give up one of your favorite things so that you can be safe. God isn’t taking care of you”

I reflected on my fear as I was calming down and paddling along.  It occurred to me that my fear arose because I have a belief that sharks are dangerous. Don’t get me wrong, they can be something to fear, but for the most part they are not too interested in humans. I have spent countless hours in the ocean over the course of my life and I have been just fine.

My reaction when I saw that fin was fear based. The fear then led me to believe that I was in danger. The lies in my mind grew fear into panic and led me to question what I was doing. I realized after the fact that I may have mistaken a dolphin for a shark.

What?!

I wasn’t thinking, I was reacting to what I thought I saw.

This is how the evil one work against us. He is like a shark circling in the water around us at all times. We don’t see him but he is busy trying to keep us off balance. It all begins with a lie in our mind. These lies often lead us to fear based thinking and can keep us caught up in drama, sin, and negative feelings.

The pattern of believing the lies can keep us from our true purpose as children of the Most High God. These lies keep us stuck in anxiety and what I like to call “stinking thinking”.

We all have a choice when faced with fear. We can choose to let it stop us, hold us back, and keep us bound up. Or we can choose to put our faith in God and ask Him to take care of everything. We can offer Him our fear and tell Him to fight for us. We can choose to say, “In the name of Jesus, I command you to leave.”

Just before I saw my little friend in the water, I had been praying to Jesus. I was admiring His creation - the birds flying over, the crane dipping down into the sea to eat a fish. I was admiring the horizon where the sea meets the sky. I was thinking how especially beautiful the green and blue colors of the calm waters were on that day. I observed the light of the sun catching just the tip of the wells and the waves like glitter on the surface of the sea.

It was glorious! I was praising the Lord and thanking Him for the ocean, His creation.

The ocean for me has always been a place where God meets me. We walk along the shoreline and we talk. Sometimes I dance with Jesus in my minds eye. I am calm and completely one with God’s creation. It feels like He made it just for me. When I am out on my paddle board I will often picture Jesus walking on the water with me. He is holding out His hand for me to follow him.

Satan would of course want to frighten me out of being on the ocean in my element with my Lord. He would want to scare me into not wanting to go back out on my paddle board. He would love to steal my joy and peace. He would love to stop me from communing with my Lord at the beach.

I have been working my through the St. Ignatius 19th annotation Discernment of Spirits as part of my formation as a spiritual director. These exercises have truly changed the way I sense the good spirit versus the evil spirit. They have given me a deep trust in our Lord.

I asked the Lord to take over that day on the water and that His will be done. I surrendered to Him. Once I did that, I was able to gain my composure back and the fear completely left me. My knees stopped shaking and I could once again admire God’s creation.

I paddled for a long time after. I stood strong on my board. I felt rooted and confident. I was praising the Lord for His kindness and goodness, thanking Him for taking care of me that day.

It did cross my mind to never go back out on that paddle board again. I recognized that was an inspiration from the evil one and renounced it immediately.

I know from being an athlete and doing some high risk things like jet skiing, water skiing, gymnastics, jumping off a high dive when I was young, and starting a business - you cannot stop doing the things and things that bring you joy because of a negative incident or experience. We all have to “Get right back on that horse” and ride again as they say.

I was back out, in the ocean, that very day. The Lord has created us to be brave.

“…God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self control.” 2 Timothy 1:7

I choose to believe and therefore I paddle again.

Beloved

The most important identity we have is our identity in Christ. We are beloved children of  God. Our lives mean something. We are part of God’s plan which is much greater than ourselves. We cannot fully understand how we have impacted the world around us until God shows us when we join Him in Heaven.

People know when they are loved and when they are not loved. When we are loved and cared for, we want to love and care for others. The greatest gift we can give is love. What we do with our lives, how we choose to live, makes a difference. We are called to love.

The verse that dispels this truth so well is Matthew 22: 35-40. I love this verse because it challenges us to really ask ourselves how do I love? Whom do I love the most?

“And one of them, a doctor of the law, asked him, tempting him: Master, which is the greatest commandment in the law? Jesus said to him: Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with thy whole mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. And the second is like to this: Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments dependeth the whole law and the prophets.” (Matthew 22: 35-40).

Jesus tells us that these two commandments are the foundation of everything. Love is the foundation of life. God is love and He lives within us. We are created in His image. We have a well of love within us to share with the world, a love that goes beyond our human capabilities. A love that surpasses all things because it is the source of love itself that lives within us.

Due to original sin, we have a natural tendency to move away from love and are attracted to sin. Sin is the opposite of love. We cannot settle for what satan wants to give us. God has told us we can overcome sin. It can be challenging at times but St. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that we will not be tried beyond our strength.

“ No trial has come to you but what is human. God is faithful and will not let you be tried beyond your strength; but with the trial he will also provide a way out, so that you may be able to bear it.”

When we are tried and we are finding it difficult to love, all we need to do is turn our gaze to our Lord. He sees our struggles and wants us to depend on Him. He wants us to come to Him in our hour of need and ask for the grace to conquer sin.

Psalm 34:17 tells us this truth, “When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.”

He hears our cries for help and will deliver us out of our troubles. We are not walking alone gritting our teeth and bearing it. This is not what our Lord wants for us. He wants us to have life and have it fully in and through Him.

We are walking as a child of the most high God who loves us and strengthens us. Our identity is in and through our good father in Heaven who loves us unconditionally. It is through our father that we can love as He loves us.